How to Build an Instant Bond with Your New Puppy
Fostering a strong bond with your new puppy is one of the best ways to turn them into a dream companion.
Bonding can occur during any shared experience with your puppy and can take many forms including playing fetch, going on daily walks, basic obedience training, and cuddling on the couch. Any mutually enjoyable activity can become a way to bond with your pup.
Building a bond can begin from the moment you pick your puppy up and bring it home, so being prepared and knowing how to make your pup’s first experiences with you the best they can be can help you bond with them.
Here are our top 10 tips for how to build an instant bond with your new puppy starting on day one.
Pick an ideal time to bring your pup home
Puppies need a lot of care and attention, so planning to bring your pup home on a long weekend or holiday when you can spend quality time with them is a great way to start your relationship. You may even consider taking time off work to help your puppy settle in.
If you don’t have much time to spend with your pup, asking friends and family for help or hiring a pet sitter to look after them is the best way to ensure your puppy gets all the attention it needs to adjust to its new surroundings.
Invest in pet supplies and equipment
Being prepared with the right puppy training supplies and equipment can save you a lot of stress and help you create a safe and comfortable environment for your pup as soon as you bring them home.
The following items will help you prepare:
A leash and collar
Food and water dishes
A dog bed
A dog crate and puppy playpen
A walk-thru gate for restricting access to some areas of the house
Fabric potty pads, pee pads (and pee pad tray), or a puppy litter box
Puppy food and treats for training
Toys for playtime (such as squeaky tennis balls, tug toys, and plushy toys)
Chew toys (like a Nylabone or coffee wood stick) and digestible chews (like bully sticks, no-hide rawhide, or yak bones)
Enrichment toys (such as a lick mat, Toppl or Kong, or a snuffle mat) that can be used to keep your puppy busy when you need them to self-entertain
Grooming supplies (such as a nail clipper, dog brush, chemical-free wipes, and dog shampoo)
If you are on a budget, pricier items like crates and playpens can be easily found second-hand on Facebook Marketplace, and newspapers and old bedspreads or towels can be used instead of pee pads and fabric potty pads.
There are lots of inexpensive DIY dog enrichment toy ideas on YouTube that can made from everyday household items, as well.
Puppy-proof your home
Puppies are curious creatures and will want to explore your home. However, they can quickly get into trouble by doing things they shouldn’t (like chewing on wires and furniture legs) and venturing into places where they could get hurt.
This is why puppy-proofing your home by taping up wires, making sure personal belongings are out of reach, keeping doors closed, or setting up barriers to prevent a puppy from accessing off-limits areas of the house can help set you and your puppy up for success.
The first trip home with your pup
Ensuring your puppy’s first trip home with you is pleasant is the best way to start your relationship and forge a bond with them.
Most puppies will get frightened if put in a crate alone in the back of a strange vehicle. Instead, it’s better to have a passenger hold the puppy or put their crate on the front seat, facing the driver. That way the puppy knows it hasn’t been abandoned and can be comforted during the trip.
Suddenly being apart from its dam and littermates in a new environment can be disorienting for a puppy, so giving it something to chew on (like a Nylabone or bully stick) or play with (like a plushy toy) can help keep it occupied and soothe its nerves.
Many young puppies are prone to car sickness, so avoiding jarring bumps and taking corners slowly can also help ensure your pup's drive home is a smooth transition.
Establish a Daily Routine with Your Puppy
Establishing a routine so that a puppy knows what to expect each day helps them settle in and gain confidence in their new surroundings.
A daily schedule should include regular meal times, potty breaks, playtime, exercise and exploration, obedience training, cuddling or handling exercises, and downtime periods/naps in a crate or playpen.
Young, growing puppies should be fed three times a day until they are six months old and taken to the potty soon after eating.
After eating, encourage and participate in plenty of exercise and activity with your little one. Let them run around and explore outside in a fenced-in yard or indoors in your home, just be sure to supervise and puppy-proof your home and yard by picking up small objects, cords, and other potentially harmful items.
Introductory training sessions that teach a puppy basic commands, such as “Sit” or “Down,” will help your puppy see you as a trusted friend who can help them learn and can begin as soon as you bring them home.
Petting or cuddling your puppy is part of the bonding process and helps them become comfortable with getting handled during vet visits or grooming. It’s also a great way to wind your puppy down after playtime.
At first, a puppy may not accept being touched without trying to bite you. An ideal way to avoid getting bitten is to offer your pup a digestible chew whenever you want to cuddle it in your lap, that way it can direct its “bite drive” onto something appropriate rather than your hands while you pet it.
Generally, puppies will be most active after eating, so plan to spend time with them after they eat, and then return them to their playpen or crate when you need a break or are ready to wind them down for a nap.
Behavior management tools like crates and playpens help train a puppy to relax and self-entertain when needed. They also help prevent bad habits (like chewing on furniture and pottying in the wrong spot) from developing and keep a puppy safe from harm when no one’s watching.
Raising a puppy without this equipment makes potty training and teaching house rules difficult, so for sanity’s sake, don’t skip out on getting a crate and playpen or you might get burnt out.
RELATED POST: How to Teach a Puppy Not to Bite
Always Supervise and Be Ready to Redirect Your Puppy
The first few days in a new environment are a huge learning opportunity for your pup. They will need constant supervision and guidance to learn what behaviors are appropriate and which are not.
Interrupting unwanted behaviors (like chewing on plants or furniture) and redirecting a puppy toward a more appropriate pastime (like chewing on its toys) is the best way to help a puppy figure these things out.
The same is true for housebreaking a puppy. It’s important to interrupt a puppy when it starts to potty in the wrong spot and take it to the correct spot (whether inside or outside) to “finish the job” to help it learn where the right place to potty is.
Remember, everything is new to your pup and they have no clue what’s right or wrong, so it’s up to you to teach them!
Puppy-proofing your home is one of the best ways to limit your pup’s ability to chew on the wrong things and have a potty accident somewhere unwanted, as is committing to supervising them whenever they are roaming free.
When you can’t watch your pup, it’s better to put it in a crate or playpen than allow it to get into trouble doing something “naughty” because that’s how bad habits can develop.
One of the best ways to help your puppy get used to being in a crate is to feed its meals in their crate. Crates are also an ideal place to put your puppy when it’s ready for a nap because they limit their movement and help them to hold their bladder.
Playpens are most useful when your puppy is still alert because they give them more freedom to move around and self-entertain. Plan to give your pup special toys or chews it will only get when in the playpen to help it learn to occupy itself when needed.
RELATED POST: Help! My Puppy Hates Its Crate
Use Positive Puppy Training Methods
Foundational obedience training that teaches a puppy basic commands like Sit, Go to Bed, and Down can start as soon as you bring a pup home, as can playpen and crate training.
Positive reinforcement training that uses rewards to reinforce good behavioral choices is the best way to train your puppy because it promotes trust and communication between you and your little one. Puppies will repeat behaviors that get rewarded, so giving your pup a treat when they do something desirable like potty in the correct spot or come when called will help them learn.
Game-based puppy training, in particular, makes building a bond with a puppy easy because it’s interactive and makes learning fun while teaching a pup to listen and behave. It’s also a great way to provide a pup with extra mental and physical stimulation, so they are ready to relax when you need to return them to their crate or playpen.
Get to Know Your Pup’s Body Language
Dogs are non-verbal creatures so getting familiar with canine body language and how dogs communicate will help you fulfill your puppy’s needs and help them navigate the world around them.
Puppies can communicate when they're hungry, need to go outside, want something, or need reassurance (like when they’re scared or worried), so responding accordingly will build trust and help develop your connection with them.
Puppies are likely to vocalize (by whining, crying, or barking), make eye contact, or paw at you when they need something. You can also tell how they feel by observing what their eyes, ears, mouth, and tail are doing along with whether their body is stiff and still or loose and wiggly while experiencing something.
Puppies who are afraid or nervous will pin their ears back, tuck their tails, and may freeze, flee, or find a place to hide. Curious or excited puppies will have alert ears, a relaxed or wagging tail, and tend to approach and welcome interactions with others. Puppies that feel threatened may bark, growl, or expose a fang to warn others to back off.
There are various behaviors a puppy may exhibit when they need a toilet like sniffing the ground, circling, or curving their back before squatting to eliminate. If you are playing with them and they suddenly dart off like they are “on a mission,” you may want to follow your pup to ensure they’re not searching for a place to potty somewhere undesirable.
It can take anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks or more to housebreak a puppy, so in the beginning, always be ready to escort your puppy to the correct potty spot to ensure they go where you want them to. It’s a mistake to think they can always make the right choice about where to go, especially in the first few weeks of bringing them home.
To learn more about the tell-tale signs a puppy needs to use the toilet, check out our blog post on How to Potty Train a Puppy.
To learn more about dog body language, click here.
Socialize A Puppy Gradually
Puppies should be socialized gradually to get used to being around other people and pets or in different environments without getting overwhelmed. Planning to introduce your pup to one or two new things a day is a good way to get started.
Socialization can start at home by taking your puppy into various parts of the house, placing them on different floor surfaces, or exposing them to common household appliances like vacuums and blenders and the loud noises they make.
Inviting friends and family to your home to meet your pup is a great way to start introducing them to new people in a controlled environment. They can also meet vaccinated adult dogs that belong to friends and family members and other puppies at puppy socialization class.
It’s important to ensure early socialization experiences remain positive to help a pup gain confidence while getting familiar with the world around them. Although you may be excited to take your pup places and introduce them to everyone you know, avoid forcing your puppy into situations they may find intimidating or alarming.
For instance, bringing them to a loud party or a crowded street fair before they’re ready could overwhelm a pup and make them less social, so understanding comfort levels is essential.
Overstimulating environments can also lead a puppy to act out in undesirable ways like barking at every stranger they meet or chasing and tackling a small child.
Sometimes, being a good pup parent means avoiding or removing your puppy from a situation to prevent a potentially damaging interaction or unwanted behavior from occurring.
RELATED POST: How to Socialize Your Puppy Before It’s Had Its Shots
Be Consistent and Stay Calm
Whether setting up a routine for your puppy or working on basic training as part of bonding, being consistent and calm is essential.
When you stay relaxed, your puppy will find it easier to feel comfortable around you. Remaining consistent helps your puppy become familiar with their daily routine, which can help them feel more secure and at ease.
Consistency can also help them learn household rules more quickly and form a stronger bond with you.
What to Avoid with Your Puppy
Learning how to connect with your puppy also means knowing what not to do. Even if you mean well, certain behaviors or actions can hurt the bond you’re trying to form.
That’s why it’s best to refrain from raising your voice to shout or yell at your puppy since this can scare them.
Pet parents should use positive methods of dog training that promote trust and boost a dog’s confidence, as opposed to aversive methods of training that use force, intimidation, and pain, which can negatively affect a dog’s confidence and wear down their trust.
Other behaviors to avoid that can harm your relationship include:
Pushing their face in their poop or pee to teach them not to potty inside (this can make them afraid to potty in front of you and get sneaky about when and where they go to the toilet);
Leaving them alone for overly long periods or not providing them with enough exercise or playtime (enlisting the help of neighbors, friends, and family or hiring a pet sitter can help when you are busy);
Overusing punishment like placing them in isolation in a crate or room too frequently (puppy timeouts should be brief and followed by directing a pup toward appropriate pastimes);
Picking them up and holding them against their will or letting others do the same (this can make them want to avoid contact with you and others).
Just like children, puppies are sensitive, have unique personalities and preferences, and have varying learning curves. Be patient with your puppy when it makes mistakes and set time aside to play with, train, and exercise your pup to ensure all their needs are being met.
How long does it take to build a bond with a puppy?
Bonding with a puppy can take a short or longer time, depending on various factors such as your pup’s age, temperament, and early socialization history, how much time you spend with your puppy, and the methods you use to train them.
Some puppies can become attached instantly or within a few days, while others might need a few weeks or even longer to feel comfortable and learn to trust you.
How can you tell if your puppy is bonding with you?
Signs that your puppy is bonding with you include the following:
Eye contact: Your puppy makes eye contact with you often, especially in new environments. They may even gaze at you adoringly.
Physical affection: Your puppy seeks cuddles, kisses, or puts their paw on you.
Wants to be near you and follows you: Your puppy likes to be close to you and follows you around, indicating they trust you and feel safe around you. (However, if they won't leave your side, it could mean they want something, are scared, or have separation anxiety.)
Communication: Your puppy can communicate their needs, like when they're hungry, need to go outside, want something, or need reassurance (like when they’re afraid or worried).
Sleeping near you: Your puppy wants to sleep near you, which can be a sign of affection, especially if they lie belly up because they feel safe around you (otherwise, they would curl up somewhere away from you).
Excitement: Your puppy's tail wags or they show excitement when you come home or greet them.
Obedience: Your puppy listens to you when you ask it to do something (this is something that develops over time and often requires consistent training to achieve).
Checking in: Your puppy keeps tabs on your location when they're off leash or frequently checks in to see where you are.
Playing: Your puppy seeks engagement with you and wants to play with you.
Why don’t I feel bonded with my puppy yet?
There may be various reasons why you don’t feel a bond with your puppy yet.
Stress may be a factor. Raising a puppy is a 24/7 job. Many people don’t understand how time-consuming and demanding raising a puppy can be until they get one. New pup parents taking on this responsibility, especially without the help of a partner, family, and friends, can easily become overwhelmed and end up not enjoying having a puppy around. It’s a big commitment timewise, emotionally, and financially and should not be undertaken lightly.
Preparedness. Often, new pup parents are not prepared with the proper equipment or knowledge needed to train a pup. Potty training is very demanding and can take anywhere from 3 to 6 months to achieve. Additionally, puppies can be mischievous and get into a lot of trouble if pet parents don’t know how to manage and train them. Not having the right equipment like a playpen or crate can spell disaster.
Commitment level. Being a puppy parent requires a 100% commitment to not give up when the going gets tough. This is why people should never gift a dog to someone else, and why people who are super busy or have active social lives should not get a puppy unless they are ready to sacrifice their freedom to take care of a dog properly. It’s ok to admit that you aren’t ready for the responsibility of having a puppy and find them another home if that’s what you decide is best for you.
A pup’s temperament, energy levels, and personality. Sometimes, a puppy’s behavior is different from what was expected. Puppies have a range of temperaments from shy/fearful, cautious/wary, curious/but wary, curious/but outgoing, fearless/bold/outgoing. Their temperament will often dictate how their personality develops, and many dogs on the shy/fearful/wary side require a lot of careful socialization to adjust to new environments. If a new puppy parent has a shy and fearful puppy, they may recoil from everyday encounters and not even want to go for a walk outside, which can be frustrating to deal with. If someone adopts a cautious/wary puppy who barks at every noise they hear or unfamiliar being they encounter (people, dogs, critters) it can try one’s nerves and make day-to-day life unpleasant. Alternately, a puppy may be super hyper and difficult to manage, making it a challenge to keep up with them, which can be exhausting. As a result, a pet parent may not enjoy having the puppy around and not feel a strong connection with it.
In Conclusion
Bonding helps develop a connection with your puppy and allows you to get to know them and fulfill their needs. It also teaches a pup to communicate with you and establishes trust, leading to a more fulfilling relationship with your pet.
Being prepared, establishing a daily routine, and remaining calm and consistent when teaching house rules and training your puppy will help you bond with them.
Make sure to provide your pup with plenty of exercise, playtime, and exploration opportunities inside and outside your home to help them burn off energy and get familiar with their new surroundings.
Avoid exposing your puppy to things that may scare or overwhelm them, and never use harsh methods to educate them about what’s right and wrong as it can harm your relationship.
Staying calm and consistent is the best way to help your pup gain confidence and learn the rules of the road, so be patient and kind in your dealings with your puppy and they will soon turn into the wonderful companion you’ve been dreaming of.
Struggling to Bond with Your Pup?
There’s a lot involved with raising and training a puppy and it’s easy to get overwhelmed.
If you’re struggling with potty training your puppy, teaching them house rules, or behavioral issues related to puppy biting and destructiveness, puppy separation anxiety, or fearful, aggressive, and hyper puppy behavior, we can help!
Book a consultation below to speak with a personal puppy trainer and get started training your pup as soon as today!
About the Author
Alexandra Bassett is the owner, dog trainer, and behavior consultant at Dog Savvy, a private dog and puppy training company specializing in game-based dog training and solving problem dog behaviors like dog separation anxiety, leash reactivity, excessive barking, and aggression.
She is certified as Knowledge Assessed by the Council of Professional Dog Trainers (CPDT-KA) and is available for online dog training sessions via Zoom.
