Is Your Dog Asking You To Calm Down?
Human vs. Dog Body Language
A classic misunderstanding between dogs and people
Imagine this scenario: You have just watched an episode of a popular Los Angeles dog training TV show that has you convinced you that you need to play the “alpha” role so that your dog knows who’s in charge. For no particular reason, you command your dog to sit in an “assertive” tone, but instead of sitting down, your dog licks his own nose, yawns, and turns his or her head away.
You perceive this behavior as being stubborn and disobedient, take a step towards your dog and lean over them, this time saying “sit” in an “I mean business” tone – so even though your dog may have started to sit, they end up giving you a quick nose flick and lie down instead.
What just happened? Well, it may sound crazy but while you were getting worked up, your dog was asking you to calm down!
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Canine Communication: Recognizing Calming Signals
A dog’s ability to cooperate with humans is what makes them man’s best friend. Dogs are cooperative pack animals equipped with about 30 “calming signals” to help them avoid conflict with one another.
Conflict is dangerous for the pack because it can lead to fighting, causing physical injuries that can slow the pack down and even cause death – a consequence that we all, both dogs and people, try to avoid.
Tongue Flicks: “I Feel Anxious, Unsure, Or Uncomfortable” (Or All Of The Above)
Dogs signal with tongue flicks (quick nose licks) to help calm themselves down, or to send a calming signal to others. When people lean over or reach out to touch dogs, or when a group of children approaches a dog, watch for a quick tongue flick showing you they may not be 100% comfortable with the interaction.
Dog Training Tip: If your dog flicks their tongue and leans away from you when you ask for a sit, notice your body language. Is there aggression in your tone? Are you leaning towards or over your dog? In this instance, your tone and posture may be perceived as threatening to your dog.
To correct this, try standing up straight, use a more neutral, but confident tone of voice, and be clear why you are asking for a Sit (i.e., it’s training time or please sit here out of my way).
Dogs are eager to please, so instruct them in a calm voice and make your request situational and not for no reason at all. Praise or treat your dog when they comply willingly.
Yawning: “I Really Need A Change Of Pace Or Scenery Right Now!”
Dogs yawn when they feel bored, stressed, worried, or spent. Dogs sometimes yawn when they are yelled at or punished. Dogs yawn when children hug them too tightly and their preference is to be given some space. It is an autonomic response, drawing more oxygen into their bloodstream, that helps them to relax, and a signal to others that they’d prefer something other than what is happening in the moment: a change of scenery (“I’m bored, would you please talk me for a walk!”); less tension or attention from others (“Hey kid, I’m feeling claustrophobic right now, can you please lay off a little?”), or simply to be left alone (“I’m not interested in this activity; I’m tired and just want to rest”).
Dog Training Tip: If your dog is yawing a lot, take note of the scenario: If a child is paying a lot of attention to your dog, but they keep yawning and moving away, then your dog is not enjoying the attention. Ask the child to back off.
If your dog is yawning with a trailing, high-pitched note in their voice, then they may be bored and restless: take them for a walk or give them a toy to play with.
Helping your dog out of uncomfortable situations and keeping them engaged will go a long way in building a foundation of trust - the most essential ingredient in dog training.
Sitting and Lying Down: “I Am No Threat!”
Dogs will sit or lie down to help calm another dog or situation. Sitting and lying down are two ways dogs respond to calm a threat or a perceived threat.
Dog Training Tip: You are outdoors when a strange dog begins charging your dog from a distance. Turn your dog away from the charging dog and tell your dog to sit or lie down to take the wind out of the other dog’s sails.
Learning to identify your dog’s calming signals will help you understand how your dog is trying to communicate with you, and this reciprocal understanding will help build trust between you and your dog. In the end, it’s a solid foundation of trust that will help you to train your dog to be the very best dog he or she can be. After all, we are their best friend, too!
About the Author:
Los Angeles dog trainer Alexandra Bassett is the owner and lead trainer at Dog Savvy Los Angeles, a Los Angeles dog training company that specializes in positive dog training and solving problem dog behavior like dog separation anxiety, leash reactivity, and dog aggression.
She is certified as Knowledge Assessed by the Council of Professional Dog Trainers (CPDT-KA) and is available for online dog training sessions via Zoom.